ashaland

Happy Mother's Day from MomsRising.org

I couldn't resist, even though it doesn't exactly fit.

A bloggy baby shower

I don't think it's too much to call Liz Gumbinner (Mom-101) my dear friend. She and I met at BlogHer last summer and immediately had about 1000 things to say to each other, and that list has gotten longer as time has gone on. This is no mere summer camp buddy...Liz is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent, funny women I've ever met.

SO! Liz! I'm so happy to be invited to your baby shower (thank you, Kristen, Julie, Nancy, and Catherine). You, Nate and Thalia are about to embark on another adventure together. A new miracle is arriving soon, and she will change everything. (What's her name again? Flavia? Nefertiti? Salome? Rex?)

BEST ADVICE I EVER GOT

Relax. Surrender. Everything will be okay. You're going to be wonderful parents -- again.

You've heard it before, but it will be easier this time, because your new daughter is joining a family with two parents, not two blissfully unaware married people.

When I look back on the learning curve from 0-1 child, and then from 1-2 children, it's MUCH flatter. You don't start from scratch when you have a second child -- you already know in your bones about constant interruption, questionable sleep, debilitating love, boobs-from-another-planet, crib sheets, diapers, infrequent romantic opportunity, moments of utter splendor, and all that. Your new baby will join your parenthood-in-progress -- sort of like how, in Little Miss Sunshine, the little girl had to jump onto the moving VW bus. The momentum is already there.

Yes, she will be completely different from Thalia. You will have to discern those differences (and I'd wager you've already gotten plenty of hints by how she's acting in the womb), but you already speak that non-verbal language. You're already bilingual -- you just need to learn a new dialect.

"BEST" ASSVICE I EVER GOT

You know -- I was lucky in the unsolicited parenting advice department. I don't recall getting much (perhaps I've blocked it out). So I'll just give you a general suggestion with respect to unwelcome input: Remember that you know your child best. No amount of well-meaning crap advice can touch you once you internalize that.

Sounds simple, but it's actually quite tricky, because while we know our children, we don't always trust ourselves. I've spent so much time feeling clueless as a parent, flailing around searching for answers, that I'd glom onto any advice that fell anywhere near the mark. It's only when I became willing to sit with the uncertainty, to quiet my search for the immediate answer and grow silent and observant, to listen for the small tremors rather than wait for the big KAPOW! insight, that I began to believe in my inner wisdom.

So much easier to ask a person or a book than to have to be patient and live with the struggle for a time, especially when inner wisdom takes you on a winding journey to the "right" answer. We like straight lines! We want fast answers! We want them now! And who wouldn't, when we're desperate for sleep and/or peace and/or relief? It's hard as hell to be patient with the process. But, sooner or later, answers come.

I'm so happy for you and yours, Liz. Happy happy. What a lucky little girl to get you as her mom. You are amazing.

To Christine and Tammie, who are also guests of honor at this shower: I don't know you, but does that really matter in this bloggy lovefest? I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Technorati Tags: Baby shower, Mom-101

Apparently, parenting is sexy after all

A screen shot of an actual Amazon Omakase box on Parent Hacks. According to Amazon, Omakase "automatically features ideal products based on Amazon's unique knowledge about what works for your site, for your users, and for the content of your page." Well, obviously Amazon knows something I don't.

Dave Pell, Expert.

My old friend, Dave Pell, has relaunched his fabulous Davenetics newsletter. Dave has opinions on everything -- technology, politics, media, culture, and plenty else. If you're looking for a daily dose of smart and funny, sign up.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Catherine!

One of my favorite parenting writers, Catherine Newman, has written the final entry in her weekly Babycenter journal, Bringing up Ben and Birdy, and a bittersweet, golden entry it is. She has always inspired me with her conversational humor, her touch of melodrama, and her ability and willingness to describe both the pathos and the ecstasy of motherhood.

Thankfully, she'll continue writing a column called Dalai Mama for Wondertime and some bits for Oprah and FamilyFun magazines. There's her book, Waiting For Birdy, for those of you who want a nice, long drag. And, (hooray!), she's just started a blog. If anyone's voice is made-to-order for blogging, it's hers.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Catherine! So happy we're neighbors! Drop by if you need a cup of sugar!

When marketing makes you HOT

Rael and I have been talking a lot about his (our!) new startup recently, so when this headline popped up in my feed reader, I was entranced:

Geek marketing should be like a good lover

Geeks? Marketing? Lovers? I'm all over it, and you should be, too, if you're interested in enticing techie-dom with your product or service. Thank you, Kathy, for writing about what could be a dry topic (ahem) in such a surprising way.

BlogHer '06: Admiration all around

BlogHer '06 is over. It has been over for days, and I'm still slack-jawed. The experience was overwhelming (in a good way) -- both meeting people whose writing I admire, and being recognized for my own work.

I've fiddled with writing a recap, but I keep getting buried by all I want to say. So, rather than give you a play-by-play (it has been done, very well, already), let me simply introduce you to some of the brilliant people I met, spent time with, spoke to for a moment, laughed with, got to know, admire. I'm going by my stack of business cards and faulty memory, so if I've neglected to list you, I apologize. Please comment with your blog address so my forty daily readers can get to know you, too.

And to everyone who attended, thank you for an amazing weekend.

• Liz of Mom-101 and Cool Mom Picks
• Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored and Cool Mom Picks
• Julie of Mothergoosemouse
• Catherine of Her Bad Mother
• Catherine of Mayberry Mom
• Whitney and Heather (the Rookie Moms)
• Mindy of The Mommy Blog
• Danielle of Foodmomiac
• Mary of Mom Writes
• Mir of Wouldacouldashoulda and Want Not
• Heather of Dooce
• Alice of Finslippy
• Sarah (roomie!) of Cafe Mama, urbanMamas, Blogging Baby and much more
• Melissa of Suburban Bliss
• Eden of Fussy
• Amy of Amalah
• Robert Scoble
• Jenn, Jenny and Meghan of Mommybloggers
• Karen of Troll Baby
• Stefania of CityMama
• Guy Kawasaki
• Tracey of Sweetney
• Karen of Chookooloonks
• Lisa of Surfette
• Arianna Huffington
• Laid-off Dad
• Dutch and Wood of Sweet Juniper!
• Jessica of Very Mom
• Izzy of IzzyMom
• Mena Trott
• Caterina Fake
• Meg Hourihan
• Susie Bright
• Chris of Notes from the Trenches
• Sara of Sarah and the Goonsquad
• Cooper of The MotherHood
• Renee of downtheavenue and Blodgett Communications
• Beth and Jill of Silicon Valley Moms Blog
• Rebecca of Cooking Up A Story
• Ann and Yael of Maya's Mom
• Kathryn of Daring Young Mom
• Kari of The Karianna Spectrum
• Wendy of Fire on the Poop Deck
• Elizabeth of Table for Five
• Tracey of Mother May I
• Krisco of Crib Ceiling
• Rachel of Minti

BlogHer '06: I may touch you inappropriately

I just arrived in San Jose for the BlogHer conference (it starts tomorrow), and I'm filled with 80% excitement and 20% apprehension. I'm going to be meeting people I admire for their talent, creativity and nerve -- people I've never seen before but consider friends. I can't imagine another situation in which I could say that and mean it.

If you're here at BlogHer, please find me and say hi, and don't be surprised if I squeal and throw my arms around you. You've been warned. If you're one of those "personal space" types, you may want to wave at me from across the room.

Technorati Tags: BlogHer

FM Parenting metablog

FM, the company that serves up the graphical ads for Parent Hacks, represents quite an illustrious pool of parenting bloggers. As such, I was rather excited when they told me about their plan for a parenting "metaweblog." The metablog would give a quick glimpse of what's happening on the blogs in FM's parenting federation with excerpts of the week's best posts.

I was even MORE excited when they asked me to edit the thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you... www.federatedmedia.net/parenting

So now, in addition to my duties at Parent Hacks, I'll also be flexing my formidable editorial muscles on the FM Parenting metablog. (More accurately, I'll be excerpting posts from blogs whose feeds I already read. Sweet.) Here's the roster, with more blogs on the way:

• Amalah
• Celebrity Baby Blog
• DadCentric
• Dooce
• Finslippy
• Laid-Off Dad
• Paper Napkin
• Parent Hacks
• Suburban Bliss
• The Mommy Blog
• Dad Gone Mad

I'm honored to be part of (and now working with writing produced by) such a talented group -- I've admired several of these blogs since before Parent Hacks was a twinkle in TypePad's servers.

Technorati Tags: Blogging, Federated Media, Parenting

Getting serviced

I'm sitting in the waiting room of the local quickie oil change shop. I opened my PowerBook, hoping to mooch off a neighborhood wi-fi connection while my car gets its well-deserved spa treatment. Up popped the following system message:

None of your trusted wireless networks can be found. Would you like to join the open wireless network named "I'll suck your dick"?

I clicked Yes. That's right, folks. I'm at Jiffy Lube getting serviced for free from an open network named "I'll suck your dick."

This is why blogging was invented.