ashaland

Summer productivity? Isn't that an oxymoron?

When Luke was a preschooler, I viewed the approaching summer, with its yawning spans of Luke's-not-in-preschool, with premature fatigue. As much as I loved the sun (Portland summers are like a three-month party because the weather here's often so dreary), just thinking about summer made me tired.

Something has shifted. Luke is 6 1/2 and Mimi's almost 3, and I am loving summer more than I ever have. I feel more relaxed, less tired, and generally happier than I did during those last two months of school. The house is cleaner, I'm blogging more, I'm more energetic...all this while keeping summer-busy with the kids. We're swimming, we're going to shows, we're reading, we're playing with buddies, we're working in the garden, we're traveling. We've got a list of activities we plan to check off this summer. We're having fun every day.

I think it's because I've been liberated from the school year grind. The relentless schedule, where we have to eat dinner on time so the bath is on time so they're in bed on time so they can get up in time to get to school on time. I had no idea how much that took out of me.

I'll never be one of those moms who always seems to keep all the balls in the air. But we sure are having a good summer. I hope you are, too.

And now for some self-indulgent gushing

My son graduated from kindergarten today.

So often, parenting is a minute-to-minute exercise in NOW. But every so often you get a moment to breathe, to catch a glimpse of that lovely arc of growth your children are on. Six years ago I watched my son tentatively crawl across the living room rug. Today I watched an exuberant, excited boy tumble out the doors of his school and into my arms. A boy who can now read me a book, trounce his dad on the Gameboy, take a shower by himself, and profess eternal love for a girl.

These are the moments that make you forget the sleepless nights and the tantrums. At least for a moment. One golden moment.

Now I feel *really* bad

After snapping at my daughter for a minor annoyance, I quickly realized I was the one being unreasonable, and I apologized.

Me (38), sighing: I'm sorry I lost my temper, honey.
Mimi (almost 3), sighing: It's okay, Mommy.

Pause.

Suddenly, Mimi made a quick grabbing motion with her hand and then showed me her closed fist.

Me: What is it, sweetie?
Mimi, opening her hand wide: Look, Mommy! I found your temper!

New essay in "Off Our Backs"

My essay, Gender Rolling, appears in this month's "Feminism and Motherhood" issue of Off Our Backs: The Feminist Newsjournal. (Perfect timing, given the recent creation of MomsRising.org.) The essay is about how my habitual, practically inborn feminism took a beating when I found out I was pregnant with a girl.

I wrote the essay over three years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Mimi. To say "I wrote it," as if it were a discreet event, is misleading: this thing has been through so many edits it only mildly resembles its first incarnation.

Over the years I've submitted Gender Rolling to several print- and Web publications and an anthology, and been rejected by all. A couple near misses, and very kind (even apologetic) rejection letters, but still. I'm not usually one to worry much about rejection, given how fundamental a part of the process it is. But this was getting painful. Three years, for God's sake.

When Off Our Backs accepted it...to say I was excited...well. Indeed I was. My essay would finally see the light of day. But, even more, I was surprised the editors' choice to include it because the essay illustrates the tension between my feminist ideals and my relatively traditional day-to-day life. I respect them for gathering such a diverse collection of material, and I'm proud to be a part of such a long-standing publication (started in 1970).

How to place Google AdSense ads between blog posts in TypePad

I started my TypePad blog of practical parenting tips, Parent Hacks, in December 2005, and dutifully placed a single Google AdSense skyscraper in the left sidebar, as I had seen hundreds of other bloggers do. After an unexpectedly sudden takeoff in my blog's traffic, I figured my bright future as an AdSense publisher was all but assured. I sat back and waited for my first check.

And waited. And waited.

Technorati Tags: AdSense, Blogs, Google, Typepad, Weblogs

My son has become a guy

Luke, my sweet boy, has become a guy. I don't just mean he's growing bigger or getting older. I mean that he's finding great humor in talking about poo-poo heads. He loves to make loud, rude fart noises with his lips and then say, "Wasn't that funny?"

The other day, after school, he walked up to a little girl on whom he has a mad crush. To impress her, he tapped her on the shoulder and then made a flamboyant burp. She rolled her eyes and then skittered off to coyishly hide behind her mother. Luke had no idea she wasn't as delighted as he was with the production.

At home, as he gulped down his after-school snack, I decided it was time for a lesson in the ways of women. "Luke," I said, as I moved my chair closer to his. "Girls don't like to be burped at. They like when you talk to them. With a polite voice."

Luke stared at me, or past me, I couldn't tell.

"Even better, ask girls questions about themselves, and then listen to what they tell you."

Luke silently finished his yogurt and granola, and then he leapt up with an urgency that signaled an epiphany. "I have to go poo."

Oh. That kind of urgency. Another pearl of wisdom, lost. Or was it?

My inner geek emerges

Before I had kids, my main "job" was writing how-to books about software, specifically Web publishing software. It was a great gig, and I enjoyed it. But after Luke arrived (and I regained a modicum of brain capacity), I found myself drawn toward writing about my experiences as a mother.

Blogging -- here and at Parent Hacks -- has allowed me to merge my writerly and geeky selves in a very satisfying way. Setting up Parent Hacks plunged me back into HTML and CSS. I also had to learn how to use a whole new crop of adjunct tools and services (Google AdSense, Technorati, del.icio.us, RSS, Amazon Associates, etc.).

So, I've decided to write up a few of my experiences as tutorials. Hopefully they'll help other new bloggers get up to speed a little more easily. Enjoy! Feedback always welcome. (Of course, if you're here for the mama stuff, feel free to ignore.)