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Happy Mother's Day from MomsRising.org

I couldn't resist, even though it doesn't exactly fit.

A bloggy baby shower

I don't think it's too much to call Liz Gumbinner (Mom-101) my dear friend. She and I met at BlogHer last summer and immediately had about 1000 things to say to each other, and that list has gotten longer as time has gone on. This is no mere summer camp buddy...Liz is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent, funny women I've ever met.

SO! Liz! I'm so happy to be invited to your baby shower (thank you, Kristen, Julie, Nancy, and Catherine). You, Nate and Thalia are about to embark on another adventure together. A new miracle is arriving soon, and she will change everything. (What's her name again? Flavia? Nefertiti? Salome? Rex?)

BEST ADVICE I EVER GOT

Relax. Surrender. Everything will be okay. You're going to be wonderful parents -- again.

You've heard it before, but it will be easier this time, because your new daughter is joining a family with two parents, not two blissfully unaware married people.

When I look back on the learning curve from 0-1 child, and then from 1-2 children, it's MUCH flatter. You don't start from scratch when you have a second child -- you already know in your bones about constant interruption, questionable sleep, debilitating love, boobs-from-another-planet, crib sheets, diapers, infrequent romantic opportunity, moments of utter splendor, and all that. Your new baby will join your parenthood-in-progress -- sort of like how, in Little Miss Sunshine, the little girl had to jump onto the moving VW bus. The momentum is already there.

Yes, she will be completely different from Thalia. You will have to discern those differences (and I'd wager you've already gotten plenty of hints by how she's acting in the womb), but you already speak that non-verbal language. You're already bilingual -- you just need to learn a new dialect.

"BEST" ASSVICE I EVER GOT

You know -- I was lucky in the unsolicited parenting advice department. I don't recall getting much (perhaps I've blocked it out). So I'll just give you a general suggestion with respect to unwelcome input: Remember that you know your child best. No amount of well-meaning crap advice can touch you once you internalize that.

Sounds simple, but it's actually quite tricky, because while we know our children, we don't always trust ourselves. I've spent so much time feeling clueless as a parent, flailing around searching for answers, that I'd glom onto any advice that fell anywhere near the mark. It's only when I became willing to sit with the uncertainty, to quiet my search for the immediate answer and grow silent and observant, to listen for the small tremors rather than wait for the big KAPOW! insight, that I began to believe in my inner wisdom.

So much easier to ask a person or a book than to have to be patient and live with the struggle for a time, especially when inner wisdom takes you on a winding journey to the "right" answer. We like straight lines! We want fast answers! We want them now! And who wouldn't, when we're desperate for sleep and/or peace and/or relief? It's hard as hell to be patient with the process. But, sooner or later, answers come.

I'm so happy for you and yours, Liz. Happy happy. What a lucky little girl to get you as her mom. You are amazing.

To Christine and Tammie, who are also guests of honor at this shower: I don't know you, but does that really matter in this bloggy lovefest? I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Technorati Tags: Baby shower, Mom-101

Apparently, parenting is sexy after all

A screen shot of an actual Amazon Omakase box on Parent Hacks. According to Amazon, Omakase "automatically features ideal products based on Amazon's unique knowledge about what works for your site, for your users, and for the content of your page." Well, obviously Amazon knows something I don't.

Tantrum as a thing of terrible beauty

How Dutch of Sweet Juniper could transform his two year-old daughter's tantrum into a literary masterpiece, I'll never know. I feel for him, reading the story of the Zoo Visit Gone Bad, but I find myself feeling glad it happened so I could bask in the retelling.

Precious starts with P

My three year-old daughter is enjoying her beginning grasp of phonics. "Mommy starts with M!" she'll tell me, eyes bright, like she just unlocked the key to a secret code.

Today I was telling her about what I consider to be some of her best qualities...her love of animals, for example. Her reply: "Mommy! 'Quality' starts with 'koala'!"

Dave Pell, Expert.

My old friend, Dave Pell, has relaunched his fabulous Davenetics newsletter. Dave has opinions on everything -- technology, politics, media, culture, and plenty else. If you're looking for a daily dose of smart and funny, sign up.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Catherine!

One of my favorite parenting writers, Catherine Newman, has written the final entry in her weekly Babycenter journal, Bringing up Ben and Birdy, and a bittersweet, golden entry it is. She has always inspired me with her conversational humor, her touch of melodrama, and her ability and willingness to describe both the pathos and the ecstasy of motherhood.

Thankfully, she'll continue writing a column called Dalai Mama for Wondertime and some bits for Oprah and FamilyFun magazines. There's her book, Waiting For Birdy, for those of you who want a nice, long drag. And, (hooray!), she's just started a blog. If anyone's voice is made-to-order for blogging, it's hers.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Catherine! So happy we're neighbors! Drop by if you need a cup of sugar!

When marketing makes you HOT

Rael and I have been talking a lot about his (our!) new startup recently, so when this headline popped up in my feed reader, I was entranced:

Geek marketing should be like a good lover

Geeks? Marketing? Lovers? I'm all over it, and you should be, too, if you're interested in enticing techie-dom with your product or service. Thank you, Kathy, for writing about what could be a dry topic (ahem) in such a surprising way.

...and yes, I saw the muthaf***in' movie last night.

Speaking of planes...

I would be remiss as a blogger if I didn't mention that I did indeed shell out the bucks to see Snakes on a Plane last night. Saw it with friends, after drinks, and it was the best audience participation since Rocky Horror in 1985. Many people (including us) brought along rubber snakes to hurl at appropriate moments. Rael was wearing his SoaP t-shirt. We gasped, we screamed, we laughed. Sure, the movie sucked, that's beside the point, isn't it? Schwern sums it up.

Technorati Tags: Snakes on a Plane

Blog Book Tour: The Ghost in the House

Parent Hacks is the fourth stop on the MotherTalk Blog Book tour for The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children, and Struggling with Depression by journalist Tracy Thompson.

My own transition to stay-at-home motherhood was rocky, and at one point I searched out literature by women whose experiences echoed mine. I read every book, article, essay (and later, blog post) I could find by mothers who were brave enough to reveal their struggles. Suffice it to say that when it comes to literature about motherhood, I'm well-read.

When The Ghost in the House arrived in the mail, I blithely assumed it would be another memoir detailing one woman's difficulty adjusting to motherhood. My jaded attitude surprised me. I am so grateful for the growing body of literature detailing the complexities of motherhood (many of which fly in the face of its popular portrayal), especially those shining light on the demon of postpartum depression. And yet, I found myself resisting reading another story about maternal struggle, perhaps because I've so recently left much of mine behind.

Thank goodness my commitment to this review caused me to crack open the cover, because by page 2, I was hooked.

[Read the rest of this post on Parent Hacks.]